Saturday, 18 May 2013

My 100th Blog Post, Random Access Memories review and a farewell

I thought this would be a nice way to cap off my blog. I made it to 100 posts, just over ten thousand page views in just over two years, I listened to Daft Punk's Random Access Memories and two songs actually choke me up. It's absurd to think so many care about someone like me on multiple occasion but regardless, I want to thank everyone for actually reading my work, sharing it around and even commenting on it. I have a blog because I feel it's a personal platform and I sometimes don't have anywhere else to write stuff. I think what I've written here is a lot of me getting ideas out unfiltered and I love the feeling. This isn't to say that my work on any other site has been heavily or unfairly edited; it's been edited and handled by people I trust and I feel grateful they enjoy my content, but I also understand that not everyone is willing to read several pages on how great Wreck it Ralph is and why Sim City was an awful gaming experience.

It's just really that good...

So I leave this blog with warm wishes and happiness to start working on something I will be updating on a weekly basis (or rather when I feel like it) once I finish Uni and writing and working on different projects that hopefully lead to stuff. I just wanted to have a formal farewell and rather than stretching it out over several blog posts that would not equate to a well-rounded, yet arbitrary number, I decided to do one long ass blog post saying thank you and that I'll make something new in June that I've already started preliminary work on.

Now, below is my completely unedited review for the Daft Punk album, Random Access Memories which was released worldwide yesterday...well not really worldwide, because Japan is still apparently waiting for a full release. Anyway, the original edited review is on Sticky Trigger and you can just read that one there, or this one which is longer, goes through my thoughts on all the tracks and is just a bit more on how I feel about the album. Enjoy!

Random Access Memories

Three years after their incredible Tron Legacy soundtrack and seven years after their last release, Daft Punk have a lot to live up to. From the announcement to the online hype, the world has been tripping between extensive bouts of excitement and conceited dismissal of the duo's next album. There is something about Daft Punk which has fused with the nostalgia of our generation, whether it's the disco beats, strong melodies and robotic vocals, it reminds us of our own early love affairs with technology, the people we've met, the things we've done and how far we've come. Random Access Memories embodies that digital passion and humanity's love and loss with the past and the future.

The album begins with Give Life Back to Music, a strong track that feels reminiscent of the work of Justice's Audio Video Disco. The 70's rock tribute kicks the entire album into gear, giving a shout out to their own teachers and to Human After All's very classic rock-infused sound. The first track does also feel like an early Kavinsky track, with added layered thumping bass and percussion; the tempo is perfect and every single instrument can be heard clearly. Daft Punk knows they have to appease the Gods of Music and this first track is their tribute in every sense of the word. The riffs are playful and dance over every second of the track. I will say this though, even early on, the album is not a traditional party or dance album, but this first track could start almost any party.

Friday, 3 May 2013

Another response to Mr. Bleich: The Game of Piracy and Digital Distribution

Dear Jeffrey Bleich,
So good to see you're still writing. It's a great way to keep this discourse going. I'm going to do a line by line reading of your latest sampling of work to see if we can't continue it even further.

"My blog entry on internet piracy, 'Stopping the Game of Clones,' attracted far more comment than I normally get.  Perez Hilton loved it, but many other people took exception to my call for folks to comply with copyright laws.  Criticisms ranged from asking why diplomats should get involved in this issue, to complaints about how movies and music are distributed from the U.S. to Australia, to some legalistic arguments about the definition of “stealing,” as well as just some old-fashioned verbal abuse.   I think this frank exchange is a good thing (except for the abuse).  I took in these comments with an open mind, and I hope you will do the same with my own  response to the feedback I received."

I firstly, apologise to those who slung abuse at you because hey, that's not helpful. It's great to discuss your opinions and especially with opinions backed up with facts, but mostly if those opinions contain a bit of verbose or scatological verbage, then it can be down-right troublesome. I'm sure the people who did verbally abuse would rather say otherwise and so be it; they have that choice.

You could say they have...a Freedom of Choice

"“Don’t Ambassadors Have Anything Better To Do?”  Several people wondered why a U.S. Ambassador would bother to complain about the pirating of “Game of Thrones” when there are so many bigger issues."

I'm assuming this would include things such as trade agreements, tourism, nuclear mining, etc., but sure, copyright is a big issue because America thinks it's a big issue and you represent them.  However- 

"Actually, given the overwhelming response to the topic, maybe I haven't talked about internet piracy enough."

Oh trust me, you have. I think the reaction both on your Facebook page and on news websites have promoted enough discussion to call into question about why we continue to listen. But hey, maybe the hundreds of thousands of downloaders aren't listening and you could sway them.

"The point is, this isn’t just about 'Game of Thrones' and it isn’t a small issue."

You're incredibly right. It isn't a small issue. It's a global issue regarding many complicated factors, including international trade laws, internet service providers, government lobbyists, copyright and content holders and plenty more stakeholders. But I am curious who else you represent and why you're pushing for this issue so much? Is it a case of just representing international interests, or is it something else? 

It could just be...AFACT that you don't like piracy. Eh...see what I did there.

"As the Washington Post noted: “The pay-TV industry estimates losses of $1 billion in Asia alone.  Intellectual property is getting tougher and tougher to protect in the digital age, which is a big deal for U.S. economic interests.  Imagine if Americans were stealing $1 billion worth of Japanese cars and Japan thought the U.S. government was being lax about finding and punishing the carjackers.”  

Ironically enough, this quote was from an article about your last blog post. That Washington Post article actually used two sites to sling that claim. The first was one from TorrentFreak, a site largely devoted to news relating to internet piracy and advances in the world of internet distribution. Another source was from a two year old AFP article posted on Google News that talked about copyright infringement costing American jobs. Now, I personally think that actual "losses in piracy" only happen when there are physical copies of the work made, such as knock-off products, DVDs and Blu-Ray copies.

I also believe that statistics on piracy loss are completely aggregious after reading studies in the video game industry, but then again I used a fairly old study as well. That being said I am against physical piracy, that is something I want to be clear about that. However, personal piracy or pirating films or in this case, TV shows, is a whole secondary matter. Also that second article also points to a greater issue of the trade practices of that country, something that your country is already working towards. Not only is the article outdated but it's statistics would have changed in the past two years, but I digress. 

"The U.S. International Trade Commission estimated that American business lost $48 billion to copyright infringements in China in 2011 alone.  Australia, moreover, has as much to lose from lax intellectual property protection since it is an exporter of movies, music, literature, and other works." 

That's kinda true. The issue is that we don't have as much of that stuff to actually import. Our film industry is incredibly lacking. Our music culture is very independent based and most of our radio play is music from your country. In fact, the last time we had an Australian hit on our hands, we had to get one of your most talented, but least respected hip-hop artists to sing on it. Our literature culture is heavily eBook focused, in fact so much so, our government is getting in on this. Our best TV import is our actors and Chris Lilley and even then, I doubt he's phased, even with the help of ABC and HBO. That being said, I have asked him via Twitter for his direct opinion. 

It'll be better than this. I promise

Dear Mr. Jeffrey Bleich, US Ambassador to Australia

I posted this earlier today on  Jeffery Bleich's Facebook page, after making another plea to Australian internet users, to stop downloading Game of Thrones. I edited some financial and technical issues here and there but the message is still the same:

Dear Mr. Jeffrey Bleich,
I understand your consistent discourse with the Australian public about their internet "piracy", but please here us out on a few things regarding the legal means of downloading the HBO series Game of Thrones. Here's the thing though with those legal means and how people still have the autonomy with viewing preferences.

Game of Thrones via iTunes is $33.99, which is fine. That's an appropriate price for a full season of a TV series which is still in the process of being released. However, a lot of people are not fans of the iTunes format. It has some inherent difficulties of navigation, as well as the requirement of an account and a fairly convoluted system before actually purchasing the full season. I know that while I have an iTunes account, I don't like buying anything from the because I know that they screw independent musicians, content providers and even Television companies, such as the fine work of HBO. If I buy music, I go through bandcamp, or their website or I find out if they have PayPal so I can legally throw money at them.

Game of Thrones on FOXTEL is a whole other bag altogether. Regardless of my feelings towards NewsCorp, the Murdoch family and other political/lobbyist riffraff, buying a FOXTEL package just for Game of Thrones is a fiscally irresponsible and mentally unsound way to watch a single programme. The show is incredible, don't get me wrong, but there is so much content on FOXTEL that some people may not want to watch, nor pay for. The Premium Drama/Entertainment package is $25, per month. Cool, you may say, that's cheaper than the season pass, however, the show runs for ten episodes, which essentially means, that you are paying $75 for that three month subscription. This is regardless, of the over $700 minimum 12 month contract, plus the extra bundle packages, plus the installation fee, plus the extra amount of time and money you spend waiting, fixing and adjusting your FOXTEL box. It is not a great option.

Game of Thrones via Quickflix is actually a pretty good option. They only charge you for the streaming service. It's available on multiple devices. They have a wide range of content that is incredibly a lá carte, depending on your usage and they're Australian owned. You can stream whatever you want, regardless of the pricing plan. This means you can pay $15 a month and get whatever blu-rays and DVD's sent straight to your house and stream Game of Thrones willy-nilly. However, the debate turns into something a bit more technical.

Most people like downloading the show, not to share it but to play it on their own home media devices when the internet is not "off-peak". Off-peak and on-peak internet usage is something that is becoming more common in your home company, mainly due to greedy ISP's that want to adjust internet service and get people to purchase better plans for no good reason. They throttle the internet usage, which makes it incredibly difficult to stream. As a person who lives in a household that takes in homestays who do not understand this concept, you have no idea how frustrating it can get when you're trying to watch a University streaming lecture at 28.8kbps a is not fun. Not many ISP's offer a service that isn't capped, despite the "unlimited" marketing banner.

Mr. Bleich, despite your name sounding like a Mad Magazine onomatopoeic device, please know that the autonomy of Australian internet users is much more important than a day based on the support of sharing and informing people of international cultures through various mediums. A day spawned from the death of the amazing man who wrote Don Quixote, a book that was heavily pirated to make it's way across the earth.

 Internet culture and yes, even regular culture, is about sharing that culture with the ones you love and finding common ground to communicate and understand one another. I understand that you're unhappy about our pirating ways, but please understand us trying to just enjoy the show. A show which we discuss and have made friendships over. A show which we buy on Blu-Ray and give as gifts. A show that inspired me to buy a knitting bag from an independent artist and give to my girlfriend. I'm not saying you are a terrible person Mr. Bleich but you are asking us to stop culture and I don't like it.

You already had Intellectual Property Day on April 26th. Enjoy your weekend everyone and see you on Thronesday on Monday

P.S. Here is King Joffrey...I mean Jeffrey

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

Celebrity Splash and How Did It Get Here: Or the Day TV Really Gave Up

Celebrity Splash is a TV series, in the same way a hot dog is considered a food. It has the parts of a TV series, it looks like a TV series and we consume it like a TV series but afterwards you feel regretful, wonder what it was made from and why it exists. I had to take a blood test this morning and had a good conversation with the woman taking my blood. After she retracted her fangs, she asked if I saw that "travesty" Celebrity Splash last night and how we even got to this point in television.

I'd seen the billboards, the magazine ads, the TV spots, but the actual show? I reserve my right to actually call out whether or not the show is bad (even with a hotdog comparison). I had better things to do last night, like watch Charmed and Q and A, during it's timeslot. The show from my understanding is to get B and C-list celebrities to confront their fears of actually making it to the top of something in their life before plunging deep into a pool of uncertain liquid, where they are cheered on by a crowd; a perfectly defunct metaphor for their careers. This is only exacerbated by the amount of promotion the celebrities get from just being on the show and the possible endorsements and opportunities they'll get when the show is over..

So how did we get to this point? Well, it all started with the 2012 London Olympics and a Dutchman. Yeah, remember that fun time in 2012 where the entire world was on stage wagging their nationalistic cocks in everyone's face. It was a glorious time where London was showing off how great they were and not any of the other horrible stuff in recent memory, like riots, unemployment or healthcare issues. But even before the Olympics even occurred there was a man by the name of Reniout Oerlemans

Seen here in his battle against the Huns.

Sunday, 28 April 2013

The Eyes Have It - A Look into Torrenting, Distribution and Box Office

I read a fantastic article this morning from The Wrap which outlined how Cinedigm, a Los Angeles based distribution and digital content company, were setting up a partnership deal with BitTorrent for their upcoming film Arthur Newman. Now, it's not exactly what you think with the partnership, the film isn't just an indie affair and it's not the whole movie. It's a quaint little drama starring Academy Award Winner, Colin Firth (The King's Speech) and Golden Globe Winner Emily Blunt (Looper) and written by the woman who crafted the Brad Pitt vehicle, Seven Years in Tibet.
Hat sales and Pitt Box Office receipts were at an all-time high in 1997

The film's first seven minutes will be uploaded to BitTorrent exclusively and will be shared with hundreds of millions of users and it's an interesting move to say the very least. There has already been outcries from the film industry with an anonymous film executive telling The Wrap, that it's a "deal with the devil," that "It's great for BitTorrent..disingenuous of Cinedigm" and that "BitTorrent is in it for themselves, they're not in it for the health of the industry." Sure, if you were heavily invested in the film industry and had to look at BitTorrent in a destructive and subjective manner. Also if you are severely worried about the implications a technological divide being reached and how people view your fairly archaic way of doing things, then sure.

Saturday, 20 April 2013

A Small Observation on Cinematic Storytelling in Video Games

I can tell you now this is not that short of an observation, but I think it's short in how expansive this could all really be written. Video games are not always a linear platform. They don't have the same rules and restrictions as cinema does, due to the combination of autonomy of movement with the player and the levels that are designed for them. That freedom is crucial in making the player understand the world or exposition the game is meant to be telling them on more than one occasion.

The issue I have with most games is that a lot of their exposition and worldbuilding is done through cutscenes that are incredibly obtuse and could be a lot more subtler. Either bits of dialogue or extended sequences create a world that feels more like a poorly produced play rather than a world I am living or playing through. In his GDC talk, Antony Johnston, writer of the Wasteland comics, the Alex Rider series and the first few Dead Space games, shows how important cutting unnecessary bits of dialogue and action is within the game Alan Wake.

I've always been a fan of "kill your darlings" in writing as more often than not it keeps a writer humble and self-aware with their writing. For example, I had a whole opening bit explaining why Bioshock Infinite is awesome and going into a good two paragraphs on how the first act sets things up properly...then I read Brendan Koegh's piece on it and realise he is smarter, articulate, older and better at writing about that than  I am and may ever be. So I decided to focus on Johnston and Alan Wake instead....for now.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Episode 6 - Courtney Adjourned

Yes, we are back and we're ready to pitch...this week a little something different and you can download it here.

Sim City is fun but still ruined by servers.

Social Gaming is fun for no one.

The Cinema Going Experience

The PS4

Internet cultures are hard to take seriously

Let's Players be cray

Anita Sarkeesian vs. Feminists

Two guys discuss feminism in a completely biased and ignorant manner.

Humanism and Equality

and then we pitch you a TV series....


This week's episode: PILOT! or A Head Case

Starring Jon Benjamin,

 Zach Braff

and newcomer, Katherine Mulhaney

 playing  Courtney Braithwaite in...


Also give us feedback on whether or not you prefer the pitching first or the talking first, we're working on tweaking the formula and getting things done right.

Saturday, 9 March 2013

Episode 5 :The GriefCast

Hey all twelve of you who listen to our show,
This week is more of a serious episode as Ben and I discuss the finer points of life, such as the handling of Sim City by it's distributor EA Games and boobs, but we also discuss grief, suicide and death. The episode is a reflection of how I've been feeling of the past fortnight and while I don't apologise for the content in the episode, I do feel that it's appropriate to warn people about it or at least tell them that we didn't pitch anything this week. We will return in a few days with a new episode and back to our regularly scheduled programming, but this was something I felt I had to do.
Thanks for being fans of the show and I hope you enjoy it regardless,

Episode 3 AND 4 - The Dripping AND Advertisers Beware

Wow, okay, I completely forgot to put the previous episodes up here. Episode 3 and Episode 4 are actually online on iTunes. AND we're releasing episode 5 in the next 24 hours :D

Enough with the dilly dally, download ep 3 here
And download ep 4 here. Time's a-wasting.

In this episode we talk about a lot of sooo many things, you wouldn't even believe the things...okay, you probably would.

In this episode:
North Korea is cray.

Next Stop Hollywood is an amazing series

Black Mirror is something everyone should be watching

Harrison is weirded out by his job...because he has one.

Django Unchained is awesome

and finally...
Randy Quaid

Penelope Mitchell

Jackie Earle Haley

and a cameo by Justin Bieber in...


Remember to like our Facebook Page
and Follow us on Twitter @BackroomPitch
And email us if you want to as well!


Advertisers Beware

Young Randy Quaid

Lovely wife - Penelope Mitchell

Two kids - unknown actors

Getting to his car, day going swell.

Jacket and a van - satchel with advertisements

real life spammer

Silent montage at work, being randy quaid

Gets a calll at work

Scary music and picking up the music

Random Yelly Man - Cop?

House burnt down

 Slouches shoulders, walks into the ashes

Squints eyes and sees the evil man 



Randy Quaid walks into Gun store

Big catalogue of guns

grenades underneath - rolls out blanket, guns everywehre


Quaid kills all the IRL spammers



Then runs into a creepy guy

Peter Sarsgard as the maniac

Jackie Earle Haley as a creepy dude


Mad Men time travel....Quaid's son would take down the advertising world

Carnage everywhere

Quaid making puns and shooting people

Justin Bieber playing his future son

Don Draper dies a lá the opening of Mad Men




The Dripping

Not a porn

Turkish Immigrant who comes to Australia
Producer offset

Destroyed by war...

off the boat

scruffy man
played by Jean Reno as a turk

White sided - richel bilson

drowning in the air

What will you be doing

big plans

Middle Eastern plans


The Dripping, Kebab shop

Make my life!

Indian guy

Living right next door

Pub on the corner

Second act turning point and things are getting serious

Danny Pudi as the rival

The Dripping and heat up...


Danny's homelife

Tormented as a kid

Accent made fun of 

Bomb is being made and he's carrying it to Danny's place of business

Jean talks with Danny


Bomb exploded
Danny's eyes exploded
Now blind


Gang warfare

turns into Romeo and Juliet

Saturday, 2 February 2013

Episode 2 (on iTunes) Tweakers Island - BACKROOM PITCHING!



The Troubles and Tribulations of having a podcast

The AACTAs were handled awfully

Paparazzi's are douchebags

Award Ceremonies are a bit ridiculous

Metacritic and Reviewers

January Dump Movies

Work isn't all bad...

Zack Snyder

And then we pitch one of the craziest exploitation movies ever made...TWEAKERS ISLAND

A beautiful young cast visit an island inhabited by a creepy man with a dark secret and a strange resort...

Don't forget you can download it or even torrent it here! Hey, we're also on Facebook and Twitter




Sex and Hair colour explanation

Lights up on a 







Fallen off the pier into the water

Shiny black shoes

Camera pans up to reveal creepy man in a 
Dogs running around
Slow walking people

Frosted tips talking to Tweaker

looking at chest constantly

Tweaker scuttles off...

Midgets - little people

Tweaker's Island

Tweaking nipples, thats the whole plot

Black girl survives

Tuesday, 29 January 2013

How I Spent my Bummer Vacation

Download or Torrent, it's your choice

Can't Go For That - Hall and Oates
Flat Beat - Mr. Oizo
Pop Muzik - M
Hydrogen - M|O|O|N
Sexyback - Justin Timberlake
This Feeling - AB/DC
The Bomb - Bucketheads
I'm Corrupt - DCUP
Let the Beat Control Your Body - Brodinski
ADD SUV - Uffie (Feat. Pharrel Williams)
Cameo Lover - Kimbra
Far from Home - TIGA
Going Nowhere - Cut Copy
ABC News - Pendulum
Get Shaky - Ian Carey Project
Animal Rights - Deadmau5
Swimming Pools - Kendrick Lamar
Sun - Caribou
Booty Work - T-Pain
Crave You (Adventure Club remix) - Flight Facilities
Imagine the Fire - Hans Zimmer
Goooo - TNGHT
Music Sounds Better with You - Stardust
Cali Scoundrel - Ricco Suave
You Wanted a Hit (Soulwax Mix) - LCD Soundsystem
Wannabe - Spice Girls

Saturday, 26 January 2013

The Australian Content Problem...and a Solution

It's Australia Day, Happy Australia Day. It's Australia...Day...Australia

There's something called the Meisner Effect that a friend taught me about a year or so ago. In it's confused layman's form (See: How I explain things), it's the psychological disassociation from words after repeating them several times to the point that they become absurd. For an example, you can see Christoph Waltz almost break apart as human being and become with the acting cosmos by simply saying Dill Pickle in that clip.

Waltz is a big Rugrats fan

 I mention this effect as I have experienced it recently when it came to the world Australia and the word following it, content. Having talked at length with friends at parties and people in different industries, from gaming to film to internet neurosurgery (It's gonna be big in 2013), the idea of Australian Content has almost turned itself into a paradoxical idea, where most of the Australian Content we love has been influenced in some way from overseas revenue or influence. Whether that's actors, money or writers from the US, people are often fine with it, as long as it's being made here and then people just shrug it off. The whole issue is about the possibility of creating and exporting said content, as opposed to importing a lot of it.

What I believe is honestly that the average person doesn't care about Australian content. People will ask "Did you see this Australian show" or that "Australian show" and they will say "nup" and the punchline will be, well, "it was Australian." And then they laugh themselves silly and take a nose dive into grinded up Breaking Bad DVD's. It's not longer a joke. People who want to actually become apart of the entertainment industry must either strive and spin the wheel in America or become a new bride to Kyle Sandilands. Both are not financially viable issues and both will leave you broken-hearted and have people questioning your actions for the rest of your life.

Kyle Sandilands: Not even once.
I came across this realisation earlier this year when I decided that my only New Years Resolution was to write and produce more comedy content. I want to continue doing this, whether it's in the form of podcast, video or just these blogs, I want to do this. However, I have a long term goal for writing for a sitcom or satiricial show. A big problem with that is that I have a feeling my humour doesn't really sync up with a lot of the comedy or "light entertainment" as the Logies refers to it.

We haven't had a comedy category in five years, ya kangaroo's anus
Another issues is my age and look. I know I'm getting off on a different tangent here, but let's cover this now, so I don't have to bring it up when I meet you in person. I'm 21 going on 22,  I have a beard and am slightly overweight. While I'm working on the first and third thing, there isn't that many options for me starting out. I have a screenwriting major as apart of a Creative Arts degree and working on different things, but the chances of being hired or an opportunity are thin, unless someone from a TV channel puts out a call on Pedestrian.TV.

But, you might say, finger poised in the air like a 1950's douchebag, what about writing for a current comedy show. Most shows are very insular with their writing and often only have one or two writers. Looking at some of the biggest productions from the past 3 years, they usually contain only singular writers who are over the age of thirty who have been working in the industry for over a decade. The Chaser's cast are all now in their mid to late 30's, having started in 1999 with their newspaper and then went into TV in 2001 with "The Election Chaser." They started in their twenties, continued on TV and stage and kicked some serious arse.

Actually The Chaser is probably one of the rare examples of being insular as they hired Zoe Norton Lodge and the cinematically-talented Lee Zachariah from the infinite-hiatus Bazura Project. But let's look at other people like, Dan Ilic, who's been working his arse off as well for over a decade and is now 32. John Safran appeared on Race Around the World when he was 25 and has made some of the most interesting and personal documentary series this side of "Go Back to Where you Came From," now he's 40. The comedy landscape is not dissimilar to our aging population and we see it rampant everywhere. Oddly enough it seems like a weird version of Logan's Run where everyone gets out of being funny by thirty-five, simply because it's time to be serious and having children and being a good husband is somehow important.

Now, you might think I'm being childish and mean pointing out these guys ages and being jealous of their fame and creativity and you know what, I am. Fuck you and everything you are, you talented funny fucksticks. But in a serious note, these guys are actually inspirations who I continue to watch over and over again, laugh time after time, use as examples to Breaking Bad doped friends, recite storylines for friends, find on iView or find illegally reproduced online, like so many digital dumpster babies.

I'm sorry for that imagery.

Okay, back to the original issue. After an exhausting morning, I awoke around two in the afternoon to the sound of my father snoring on the couch with the TV blaring. It was the show Get Smart. If you've never seen, Get Smart, it's a fantastic sitcom made by two of the funniest American writers in the history of film, television and theatre, Buck Henry and Mel Brooks. I turned it down and I stared at it for a few seconds, clearly feeling the effects of the afternoon nap wearing off and it dawned on me. This didn't have to be Get Smart.

Then again...
Now I love Get Smart. It plays on dramatic irony, has notable satirical notions based on topical current events during it's broadcast and Barbara Feldon has a very Pat Benatar feel about her for many of the seasons, but this didn't have to be airing at the moment. See, the thing is. Shows like Get Smart, and you know, MASH, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Flintstones, didn't necessarily need to take up the afternoon or pre-Primetime time slots. Why is it these baby boomer shows? I know why, simply based on the statistical possibility that somebody who grew up in that time period might be on the couch at the time (See: My sleeping Dad)

Not completely inaccurate Artists Rendering
Now these shows cost a lot of money to get syndication for. Contracts are drawn up, often for several years for importing content and then broadcasting it out. They often have to have these Australian TV channels fork out hundreds of thousands, if not millions of dollars, for syndication rights, the content itself and then people to pay to edit it and broadcast it etc. Now in that entire financial equation, the only Australians working on that content are the people who are sending it out and I promise you, they're not going to lose those people. The problem explanation is reaching it's end, I just wanted to note that rarely do I ever complain with a solution, no matter how half-arsed it may seem.

My proof reader and researcher made need some time while I figure things out better.
The solution I believe is that you could easily reinvest the money spent on those shows into Australian content. Films, TV shows, shorts and animation. All sorts of work created for multiple channels, each that could appeal to demographics and create work that could be seen by a good amount of the population. This way you employ more Australian actors, writers, producers, directors, production assistants, set designers, costumers, cameramen and God knows how many other kinds of people who work on telly and in film. Hell maybe even me.

Those shows and films can then be exported to other countries or find distribution at film festivals, Australia could be on the world stage again and you don't need to spend millions on an American campaign for a week each year. Lest we forget, an Australian did say, that content is king and that is what you guys would be creating to a great sandy compound.

You would just have to commit Regicide on this guy first.
There is an importance of creating Aussie content or content made by Australians and I think this may actually be a solution that could work. You'd be able to have content seen by different crowds, that could easily be ported to your online content delivery systems. It'd be made fairly efficiently and cheaply considering how small the budgets they work with and how professional their work has been. I know a big part of the worrying is the amount of people watching. But let me ask you, how many people are really watching Get Smart at four in the afternoon or Coyote Ugly at midnight. And hey, if it doesn't work at all, just get the pens and money ready to keep syndicating classic American sitcom and these people will go back to where they came from, the internet, the entire medium killing you slightly with every passing year.

The Internet is a bit like an autoimmuno-deficiency disease on  television.

But look at the work of talented individuals from Jungle Boys TV, Lost Dog TV, the Bondi Hipsters, A Rational Fear and thousands of other amazing content producers, such as Martin Nixon, Ben Pobjie and even Mr. Doodleburger,  could be salvaged and placed on Aussie TV's like forgotten beer cans. We don't have to have it all be coming from the ABC. WIN have had multiple Australian comedies falter in front of their face and crash and burn without the name of Hamish and Andy in front of it. Seven believes comedy has to do with inane white people problems and modern aesop tragedies that end with someone dying from texting on the phone.

You smug couch loving bastards.
We already have made some advances like a teen hitting on his teacher at a school formal. I mean JungleBoys are doing astounding and are up for several AACTA awards (See: replacement AFI awards) and I can't wait to see what they do in the coming months and even years. Clearly I've missed out bits of the problem such as casting, time management, budgeting, the unpredictability of new stars and deadlines, but I think these people will do just fine, if they have a platform and maybe a bit more time and money. Just don't exploit them, screw them over or don't pay them.

Please leave any things I'm missing out in the comments section, email me or violently tweet at me @HarrisonTheFan